My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
