So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
