he thought i was a dude.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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