walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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