So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
