i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
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