FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just pee around me
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
