We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
