can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
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I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
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The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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