Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
