Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
