ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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