you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
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I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
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He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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