in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
