wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm sobbing to NWA
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
