one might say we're banned from that church
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
