I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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