This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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