I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
