I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize