Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
