after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
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All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
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We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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