Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
