i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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