So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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