their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
the day after is always just damage control
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Randomize
