Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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