ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
