just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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