Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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