what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
please come you make the beer taste better
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i drank out of a bidet.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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