He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
