the condom got lost in my hair
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
