Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
FUCK WHALES
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
