Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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