so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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