I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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