Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
