why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I enjoy the company of your penis
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
