elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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