My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Farmville is her only friend.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
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