Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
