i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I need moral support for this bender
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
