4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize