Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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