Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
