Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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