I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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