Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
