went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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