Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Randomize
