Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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