I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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