I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
