Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
i out mim tonsoeep
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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