I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
