Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
