I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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