Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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