I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Randomize
