I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize