i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
