two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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