And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
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As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
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We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
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