ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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